Dustbowl

February 9th, 2004
Realms of reality are fading
Into a smothering silence.
Nothing dares to whisper;
Echoes are swallowed
By the dust.
There is no life here,
And no joy, or happiness.
The bitter, gritty dust
Stings my eyelids
And coats my skin
With a fine peppering
Of age.
I am in a lonely, barren dream
Than consumes my existence.
Everything I have ever loved
Is hidden beneath the dust.
***

Poems :)

The Fragmented
January 8th, 2004

I sometimes wonder if reality’s truly there
Or if my life and my memories
Are merely a phantasma
Conjured up by my own dizzy mind.

My thoughts emerge like
The lost shadow of a loved one,
Approaching silently through the mist
As a colourless silhouette.

I try to take a snapshot
Of the vibrant and unreal hues
But as I capture them, they vanish,
Into the distant haze of my buried memories.

Birth
January 9th, 2004

I cradle the image of innocence
Gently in the palm of my hand
As the galaxy is shattered and rebuilt
With the joy, love and change
This being brings.

So subtle, it might remain unnoticed
But still, so truly there
As the hope this baby brings
Radiates from its glassy eyes.
The truest angel is born.

Mistaken
January 31st, 2004

Another life once free from flaws.
Another heart in horror’s jaws.
Another frown that never thaws.
Another grief without a cause.

A smile dissolving into tears.
A crystal ball that’s shattered.
A person who knows only fears
Whose dreams are bruised and battered.

Another person crying out
With wrenching, anguished pleading.
But all the world ignores her shout
And what her face is reading.

An innocent angel now is dead.
Her sorrows stained the gutter red.
If only people hadn’t said
That all her pain was in her head.

I'm waiting for an answer, but all you do is stare.
I wish you would acknowledge me, just so I'd know you care.
I look into your eyes but there is no emotion there.
I might as well be screaming at the cold and bitter air.

I watched as all the love you had grew cold and turned to ice.
If I told you the world was ending, would you still say "that's nice"?
He tore a hole into my heart with one world-ending slice
But still you think that losing it was my own sacrifice.

It's so easy for you to say, but impossible to forget.
You'd remember this forever, if you'd been his helpless pet.
It's a different kind of tragedy; I'm no Juliet,
And finally I've told you; is silence all I get?

Starry Memories

August 3rd, 2003

Stars in the darkness, spinning around me,
Sparkling pinpricks, as far as I can see.
I sit back and stare up at the dark universe;
I cry as I contemplate what my life could be.

My life was spinning away into the darkness,
Coming ever closer to joining the stars.
The stars used to be with us, until they were sucked away.
Do they twinkle in heaven, or are they locked behind bars?

The stars are the people who left for a reason,
Escaping from something that haunted their hearts.
They leapt and they fell and they simply vanished
Then stayed up in the blackness to be remembered as stars.

They come out each night to shine some hope for us;
All those of us who aren’t faring too well.
They dance all around me in a dizzying motion,
Warning me not to fall as my life fell.

The stars whispered to me a secret message;
All my unanswerable questions were answered.
They told me never to let myself fall;
They said they would rather be known, not remembered.

Stars in the darkness, spinning around me,
Sparkling pinpricks, as far as I can see.
I sit back and stare up at the dark universe;
I smile as I realize what life means to me.

Captivity

Don’t deny me this. Not now.

I have no say.

I say I know how,

But you claim there’s no way.

I sit on the floor, utterly powerless.

I stifle a moan.

Sand slips through the hourglass.

Just leave me alone!

I catch a glimpse of what you build:

A roaring fence, of fire.

A part of me is feeling killed.

You’ve trampled my desire.

On the dirty floor I kneel,

Pleading that you set me free.

I’m not just another life to steal.

I am a person, see?

I think I'm going to need a place to put things that isn't my diary. The internet is better than real life.

In the meantime, I'm a very busy dragon, I don't look like a real princess, and he's not a real prince. Come back tomorrow.

Goodnight, world. Goodnight, moon.